How to talk about money with your partner.

Love and Money.

Economists around the world agree on one thing, and that is the Coronavirus pandemic has pushed the global economy into the deepest recession since the 1930’s. The impact of the recession has already hit many expats living in Dubai hard, many companies have had no other option except to retrench large portions of the workforce or cut salaries. But losing your job in Dubai can be especially stressful because it compromises almost area of your life from your immigration status, to access to bank accounts and schooling to name a few.

Do we need to talk about money?

There might well be some truth to that old saying “When money goes out the door love flies out of the window”. Financial problems and worrying about money puts relationships under pressure and is one of the leading causes of marital breakdown. Several research studies confirm what many of us working with couples have long suspected. One study reported that 25% of people withhold the truth from the partner about their spending habits or debts that they might have. Another study found that a staggering 63%of people that had money worries said that it was affecting their mental health. But on the bright side, 61% of respondents said that they felt much better after seeking counselling to work through the stress that worrying about money was causing. Talking about money worries in couples counselling can be especially good for relationships helping to reduce arguments, face the reality of their financial situation and importantly to share the emotional load.

Tips for Starting A Conversation About Money:

Arrange a couples meeting

Find a time and place where you will not be interrupted and go through all your financial commitments; rent, mortgage, school fees, utilities, credit cards, loans, remittances back to your home country etc.

Be open about your financial situation and remember to listen

Remember that this might be the first time your partner has seen the full picture about your financial commitments so allow them time to digest the information. Remain calm and allow your partner to share their thoughts and perspective, try to avoid being defensive.

Talking about money can strengthen relationships

Honesty and trust are the bedrock of a healthy relationship and whilst you might fear your partner’s reaction it is important that you allow them to have full sight of your financial status. Despite the initial feelings of discomfort that talking about your money worries might evoke, opening to your partner will help you to start planning together.

Talk to a marriage counselor

Financial problems can be very stressful and with the best will in the world you might find it difficult to avoid arguments, or not to feel angry or resentful about your current situation. We see many couples and individuals struggling with the emotional fall out of financial problems. Often just by talking through these feelings with someone who understands and won’t judge you can really help to turn things around. You are also likely to benefit from some assistance in facilitating difficult conversations between couples about finances, as well as learning ways to manage the stress and anxiety often associated with financial difficulties.

5. Seek legal or financial advice

Some financial decisions are complex and if not properly addressed can worsen your financial situation. Whilst money might be tight right now getting professional advice might make all the difference in the longer term.

Cheryl Warsama, Counseling Psychologist, Vivamus.

Finances and Relationships: How to Marry the Two.