When caring for a person with a mental health challenge, sometimes love is not enough.
In the month of May each year, the spotlight often turns to raising awareness about mental health. It is widely accepted that mental health difficulties are common, the World Health Organisation estimates about 970 million people globally struggle with a mental health issue. It is therefore predictable that many people are in a relationship that involves providing informal care for a loved one who is struggling with a serious mental health condition. Parents, partners, friends and family, offer both practical, emotional, and informal therapeutic care, to their loved ones who struggle psychologically, and this in turn can impact their own mental health and wellbeing. Carers often report feeling like a marginalized group, with no voice and limited acknowledgement or support.
If you are a part of the fabric of someone’s life that helps support a person with mental health challenges, day to day and in crisis, we must acknowledge that the weight of this responsibility is often undertaken armed with an abundance of protection, love and care, yet often with limited skills and resources.
Many involved in the care of a loved one with serious mental health issues that have involved risk of self -harm and suicidal behavior often feel immense anxiety and responsibility to keep their loved one safe. Anxiety is the most common mental health condition; so alleviating/easing this for carers is paramount, as your support is vital for your person’s recovery.
What helps?
- Patience, presence, compassion are all qualities that represent loving action. When you feel frustrated or angry, remind yourself it is their brain chemistry not their character that is responsible.
- Ask how you can help, never assume, your loved one may be able to express what they need, whether it’s a hug, a distraction, to talk without advice giving. Trust that they know themselves best.
- Be open minded, offer empathic listening, “I am here for you, I know it is really hard right now”, are far more helpful than, “Think positively” or “Cheer up!”
- Seek support for yourself, to figure out what you need. Talk to a therapist or psychologist so that you can offload and gain insight and guidance.
- It is ok to set your boundaries, you need to preserve your mental and physical energy too, ask for back up, so you can relax for periods without worry.
As mental health professionals we stand with you, some of us have lived experience too of being a carer, for a loved one, or have been on the receiving end of mental health care. We know how important you are, and what you mean to your loved one. If you have not heard it lately, please know, you are appreciated.
Resources
https://www.careforcarers.org.uk/support-info/national/caring-organisations
Jackie Greenwood
Director of Education and Organisational Wellbeing I DHA Counsellor, Vivamus